Hello my 1 remaining reader.  It’s been so long since I’ve blogged that I can’t even remember my last post, and can’t be bothered to check my blog to find out.

Christmas seems a lifetime ago, but came and went in a blur of vast quantities of toys, fun with family and friends and a lingering cold/flu for the whole family.

I had great intentions of doing loads of work – KBE was going to keep the boys (this was the first Christmas for years he didn’t work at all) while I decanted to the library avec a pile of marking.  That didn’t happen.

So, it’s back to school, routine and a never ending mountain of ironing, dishes, essays and lesson planning.  In case that sounds too ‘woe is me’ the truth is that at the minute I love it (well, not the actual ironing or dishes obviously, or the essays to be honest).  

My two wee dudes are both at fun stages and there have been enough moments of laughter and love recently to counteract the temper tantrums and whining.  

On Wednesday I was at a Parenting thing at church (when another mother told me she thought espero and Jaybercrow ‘matched’ well, just for some random info!) and the phrase ‘Prioritise your priorities’ has been stuck in my head ever since.

So that’s my, belated, New Year’s resolution.  I’m guessing it means there will be less time for both reading and writing blogs, but as a champion procrastinator I think I need to be a bit more intentional in how I spend my time.  If I really did it, my days would look a bit different: less time online and reading, more time reading the Bible, more time with KBE (other than just vegging in front of the TV), more time actually playing with the boys, more GCSE stuff marked, less KS3 classwork marking, same amount of housework but less faffing with silly stuff.  

What about you?  If you were to prioritise your priorities, what would your day look like?

Tonight I’m feeling guilty I was a bit harsh to a Yr 8 girl  ’B’ who was crying she had no friends because her only friend had texted last night to say she wouldn’t be friends anymore because B is too tall.  

I’ve decided this is pretty much the most pathetic reason for falling out with someone.  Too be honest, I’ve heard plenty of others though.  It seems like the advent of texting has made teenage bitchiness worse than ever.  My sixth years were aghast that I only got a mobile at the age of 23; they can’t imagine relationships without 24/7 texting.

Anyway, back to B, who is a bit of a whiney drama queen.  I’d previously observed her form tutor and registration teacher dealing with her tears over the issue, so when she came to the library at break and asked with tear filled eyes “who do you go to see when you’ve got nothing to do at break because you’ve got no friends” I gave little sympathy.  

I told her I understood she was upset but she was getting too worked up which was making the situation worse.  I suggested she could read in the library if she had nothing to do, but that wouldn’t help her make friends, she’d be better trying to hang out with some of the other girls in the class and get to know them better.  She cheered up quite quickly as we walked through the corridors, and was back to normal 5 minutes later (well, normal for her, which is pretty much on the verge of tears)

The thing is, the librarian was all set to be kind and sympathetic before I spoke to B.  After my ‘fine line’ dilemmas last week I’m worried I wasn’t making enough allowances for how deeply upsetting teenage fallouts can be.  She’s a lovely girl in many ways, but seems insecure and desperate to fit in – one of those girls who’s always on the edge of the group.  At the same time she kind of needs to learn to deal with people better.

What would you have done?

Have you heard any worse reasons for ‘falling out with’ someone?

Last night Lilytodd and I returned to (the new shiny version of) the  school we used to teach in to watch the first school play for years, directed by the amazing Carrie O’Hara.

I have to be honest and say that as I sped down the M2 I was kind of wishing I could have a quiet night at home to catch up on marking, but 4 hours later on the return journey I was really glad I’d gone.  

The production itself was brilliant; great cast, a couple of true stars, fab staging, and really focused, professional performances from everyone.  My wee sister watching in the second row changed from wannabe emo to typical screaming teenager as she supported her friend who was Joseph.  She bopped happily home in the car and was pretty representative of a very impressed audience.

I didn’t really recognise the cast though; while in the Academy I taught older pupils who are now (scarily) at uni or graduates, some are now teachers themselves.  So for Lily and I the night was all about seeing what ‘Carrie’ has poured her heart and soul into for the last few months.  

7 years ago we were beginning teachers.  In so many ways we didn’t have a clue what we were doing, but we managed to help each other survive and learned together from older, wiser women.  Lily and I realised last night that back then the young, trendy members of our department, teachers we looked up to, who seemed to have it all sorted, were the same age we are now!  

Lily and I have moved on from the Academy- she’s in a biggish (grammar!) school and I’m in a small school on the edge of the sea with sheep in the field next door.  Yet I felt last night that it’s Carrie who’s moved on the most from our stumbling beginnings 7 years ago.  (She’s head of Drama you know!)  I am truly in awe of her – I wouldn’t even know where to begin putting together a 10 minute production let alone a full-scale musical, and all on top of a full timetable of GCSE and A level classes.

Last night also gave me the chance to chat briefly with old friends, my lovely ex-HOD and assorted former colleagues (including the redoubtable P who asked me, as only she can ‘Now what church are you going to up there?’) and see the swanky new building in all its glory.

I don’t want to go back; I’m happy teaching where I am, but it was great to be reminded of where I started in this whole teaching thing, and to see how the school is moving on, changing and growing.  I’m in awe of Carrie, but Mrs W remains my teaching hero – not perfect but very warm, wise and witty – she was so proud of Carrie and the pupils last night.  

Education is all about teaching pupils, helping them develop so they don’t need us anymore, and I love seeing my pupils shine – but last night made me hope that someday, I’ll get to see younger teachers I’ve helped shine too.

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the fine line that separates our actions into those of discipline and love based on truth, and those of grace and mercy based on valid excuses.

It started with book group on Monday.  Espero had chosen a book which the rest of us pretty much hated! The good thing about it though, besides being well written, was that it prompted lively discussion.  The book was Blue Shoe by Anne Lamott, and most of us disliked it because we disliked the main character, Mattie, and the fact that a huge number of difficult things happened to her in a short space of time.  

I came home thinking I hadn’t articulated my feelings about Mattie very clearly – as I heard myself speak I realised I sounded very judgemental.  Talking it over with KBE (despite the fact he hadn’t read the book) I decided my main problem with the character was that she was almost completely selfish, kept making dreadful choices, and didn’t change or develop much as she dealt with all the horrible situations.  In the midst of this she prayed a lot, but her faith in God never seemed to affect her actions.  Espero was much more gracious towards her, and pointed out that in her situation, she did the best she could.  Espero admired her for this, but I kept thinking she was missing out on so much because she didn’t do enough, wasn’t willing enough to do the ‘right thing’.

The thing was, she had no-one who challenged her actions, held her accountable or showed her that faith in God should be transformative rather than a lucky charm. This last thought has stuck in my head all week: when do we challenge wrong actions and behaviour, and when do we excuse them and simply offer support because we know there are extenuating circumstances?  It’s a fine line.

At home group on Tuesday we talked briefly about the ‘culture war’ in America which many Christians feel they need to wage on the world around them.  How do we both oppose and sin and share Christ’s love?  It’s a fine line.  Jaybercrow posed some hard questions for our home group, including:

• How do we oppose abortion while still showing love to women who have had abortions?
• How do we say sex outside marriage is wrong and support single mothers?

I’ve been thinking a lot about these issues all week, and Jaybercrow has promised to deal with some of them in January (yay!), so I can kind of wait until then for the theological answers!  The more I’ve thought, the more I’ve realised it cuts across a lot of what I do at home and in school too.

How do I teach the boys to be obedient, make clear that some things are wrong, and help them grow up to treat others with love while also loving them and making allowances when they’re tired, grumpy, feeling ignored etc.  The reality is that the dude often misbehaves when I’m ‘busy’ with something else – so in a way it’s my fault!  Of course, I can’t let him get away with pushing over his brother (to give a frequent example!), but how much allowance do I make for all the other factors?  How much grace do I show him, and how much discipline? It’s a fine line.

In school too – I know that lots of pupils are dealing with really difficult home situations, so I’m tempted to make allowances for them.  Am I really doing them a favour by not holding them up to my normal standards?  It’s a fine line.

The bane of my Yr 12 class (who I referred to in my last post) has a messy home life, including 6 half-siblings, plus a younger brother.  He’s seen an Ed Psych. for help with anger management and is becoming more isolated in the class, as his peers who used to laugh with him now laugh at him.  The reasons he behaves as he does are obvious; but they cannot be an excuse.  He needs someone to be on his side, to want the best for him that he doesn’t seem to want for himself.  The problem is, being on his side means becoming engaged in the messy work of exposing where he’s going wrong (and dealing with the sometimes violent outbursts that follow) as well as gently helping him improve in other areas (ie T&L, Shakespeare coursework, exam questions – the stuff I’m actually paid for).  

I’ve just realised that this messy work of exposing where we’re going wrong (and dealing with the sometimes violent outbursts that follow) as well as gently helping us improve in other areas is pretty much what God does for us.  I just need to work out how to do it too.

You all know I love my job, and I try not to blog about it too much, but this week has filled my tiny brain full of thoughts and anecdotes.

Last week I spent a lot of my free periods dealing with 2 mums who were aghast at my treatment of their precious sons.  Yes, I had written in their diaries and asked them to apologise to the class for their disruptive behaviour.  What shocked me most, was the automatic assumption that their sons were telling the whole truth; were angels in class; and were being picked on by a nasty teacher (who by the way isn’t doing anything to help their sons’ supposed dyslexia).  This led me to worry about my future interactions with the boys’ teachers – will I turn into that parent?

A boy from the same class made me simultaneously incredulous, depressed and slightly pleased.  Following my focus on Obama’s victory speech last week some of my pupils have become quite interested in current affairs, and they’re mentioning news items much more than before.  All very good, and may help to lessen the insularity prevalent in much of the area.  Then the incorrigible MP asked me if it was true the White House was going to be painted brown when Obama took over, because it was only white before to match the previous Presidents.  He refused to believe me when I swiftly rejected his suggestion, and asked me again the next day.

How can you break through with children like that?  How can we teach them when they lack so much common sense?  I love teaching my subject (even Grammar sometimes) but it can be disheartening too.  The final “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry” moment came when the Head of Sixth Year showed me some UCAS personal statements.  One boy, who happens to be in my A level English class, had written ‘I am mentally challenged’ in his conclusion.  When questioned, he admitted he didn’t know what it meant but thought it sounded good!

It’s not all depressing though; the bane of my Year 12 class got a wake-up call this week and was quite emotional as I chastised him, bringing coursework unprompted the next day.  Another Year 12 boy shocked me by discussing Friar Lawrence and Act 3:5 of R&J with great insight for half an hour – his best ever Talking and Listening mark.  

Then I read their ‘All about me’ essays, and realised that this time next year at least 2 of my Year 12 boys (one of whom refuses to use punctuation) will be soldiers.  I know Shakespeare seems a waste of time to them; but I love seeing them discuss the themes, relationships and plot twists, and slowly realise it is actually relevant.  I’m determined to have them leave my class better able to make sense of the world around them, and communicate effectively – it may save their lives.

let me be your dealer.

I came across this blog which helpfully links to a Newsweek series dishing the dirt and bringing insight to the secrets ‘behind the scenes of the campaign’.

I’ve only read the first chapter, but am fascinated already.

A short and belated post to say thanks to the other bloggers who came to the West Wing night, we really enjoyed catching up and savouring the genius of Aaron Sorkin.

Of course, I have also been enjoying the coverage of the real life elections (Go Obama).  Can you guess how many times I’ve managed to work the victory speech into my classes since Wednesday?  To be honest, while I was delighted Obama won, my ’support’ for him (if only I could vote!) has been diminished slightly by reading about his at times muddled stance on abortion, and specifically his pledge to enact FOCA as soon as he takes office.  I guess it’s a good reminder that all politicians, even those who inspire, foster hope and and encourage us to believe in a better way of doing things, are fallible humans.

I did miss out on some of the run up to Nov 4th, because we were in Andalucia for what turned out to be a very relaxing holiday despite the rubbish weather.  KBE has posted about his highlight – a day of trailbiking; but for me the week was great because I didn’t have to mark, cook or do dishes (I have a GREAT husband) and because we all enjoyed spending time together without the distractions of normal life.  

The boys shared a room, which meant they didn’t always sleep the best, but they definitely became better friends, and I loved hearing their laughter and conversations.

We were staying at the somewhat ludicrously named ‘El Rancho’ – and the horses were a great attraction for the boys, so I thought I’d post a few photos:

At the Alhambra – ‘once you’ve seen one engraved archway you’ve seen them all’ – KBE

The dude gets up close at personal with ‘Margarita’ at a donkey sanctuary.

…and anything his brother does, the mini-dude can do too.

                                                                 The dude on Pablo.

It was a lovely place to stay, so if you’re looking for a slightly different Spanish holiday – just ask (I’m not on commission!)

Hm – read a random story on BBC website about the British Humanist Association putting atheist slogans on the sides of buses in London; partly funded by Dawkins.  I’m sure some Christians will be up in arms about it, but I’m not one of them, and neither are the Methodists apparently, who welcomed the campaign as encouraging people to think about deep issues; “Christianity is for people who aren’t afraid to think about life and meaning.”

All very interesting, and then the man himself was quoted; “This campaign to put alternative slogans on London buses will make people think – and thinking is anathema to religion.”  Dawkins has, of course, made many similar statements; but reading the story tonight prompted me to post because I just don’t get it.  He’s an intelligent man;  a logical man; a thinking man: where is the proof or logic behind this statement?  If he feels religious people are opposed to ‘thought’ why bother debating religious thinkers such as John Lennox?

I know some people are very into Dawkins/atheist type debates – I’m not one of them, and I don’t really think I’ll ever be – but this baffles me.

I spent hours on the phone yesterday – and had a pretty big range of customer service ‘experiences’. 

• Phoning the mechanic to arrange leaving my car in for a pre-MOT check.  He was obviously busy and when we established he couldn’t fit me in when I wanted told me to phone him back tomorrow to confirm when I’d bring the car to him.  Other mechanics/car people we’ve dealt with have offered lifts back etc so even though he was polite and everything I ended up feeling undervalued as a customer.

• Whirlpool about our dishwasher – totally useless.  The woman was obviously on commission to sell extended warranties and wouldn’t give me any information other than the comparative costs of call out fees and a year’s cover.  I played the old “I have to ask my husband” card simply to get off the phone.  Following intensive research through google (it is amazing what comes up if you type in ‘dishwasher fault light flashing 7 times’) – KBE later managed to fix it himself.

• A shop in Belfast which sells rear-facing Group 1 carseats.  These are more expensive than normal ones but considerably safer.  The man was very helpful, but seemed to go out of his way to point out every possible disadvantage before saying he’d get one of the ones I’m interested in shipped over from England for me to try next week. I can’t decide whether I like his approach or not; but he’s interested in more than making a quick sale.

• Over an hour on the phone to Apple Care.  A recent update resulted in a weird error message about network settings and the internet has been playing up – specifically KBE can’t get his iphone (or the laptop – a work PC) to connect.  The guy talked me through fixing the error message problem then passed me onto a more important person (I can’t remember his job title) to sort out the bigger problem.  He talked me through loads of steps, including trying to help me fix the PC (clearly not really his job), was understanding about the screaming children in the background and gave me open source DNS codes which KBE later used to change the settings on the iphone and laptop.  It seems the ongoing problems are with talktalk; Mr Apple Care’s help has saved me spending hours today on what would have been a tortuous phone call to them – talktalk redefine bad customer service.

(Two posts in one day – rebranding my blog has liberated me!)

You may have noticed I’m an American politics geek, and I’m thinking of getting ready for the forthcoming election by hosting a West Wing night.

Now, when I say ‘hosting’ – it may just be me in my front room (though I’m fairly sure espero and Jaybercrow could be convinced to walk round the corner!), but I thought it could be a good way to catch up with people I don’t see enough – Carrie, Lily…basically anyone who is, or wants to pretend to be, a West Wing fan.  I’m thinking a Friday or Saturday night at the end of October – and the idea is to watch the top three episodes as voted by you my readers (all two of you) and anyone I happen to ask in real life.

I used this website to come up with my own top ten list – it lists the most popular episodes as voted by, well lots of West Wing fans I guess.  If you click on each title in their list you’ll get a brief plot summary.  My ten include at least one from each series, and actually, I’m not sure it is my definitive top ten list; I kept remembering others I could add!  It’s simply my favourites of the top 30 or so listed.  So, if you’d like to vote please do so below (I hope it works – this is way beyond my techie ability)

Feel free to vote a few times (though I think you’ll have to reload this blog to do so), let friends vote etc.

To be honest I’m kind of expecting about two votes, but I’m quite interested to see which episode comes out top.