Tonight I’m feeling guilty I was a bit harsh to a Yr 8 girl ’B’ who was crying she had no friends because her only friend had texted last night to say she wouldn’t be friends anymore because B is too tall.
I’ve decided this is pretty much the most pathetic reason for falling out with someone. Too be honest, I’ve heard plenty of others though. It seems like the advent of texting has made teenage bitchiness worse than ever. My sixth years were aghast that I only got a mobile at the age of 23; they can’t imagine relationships without 24/7 texting.
Anyway, back to B, who is a bit of a whiney drama queen. I’d previously observed her form tutor and registration teacher dealing with her tears over the issue, so when she came to the library at break and asked with tear filled eyes “who do you go to see when you’ve got nothing to do at break because you’ve got no friends” I gave little sympathy.
I told her I understood she was upset but she was getting too worked up which was making the situation worse. I suggested she could read in the library if she had nothing to do, but that wouldn’t help her make friends, she’d be better trying to hang out with some of the other girls in the class and get to know them better. She cheered up quite quickly as we walked through the corridors, and was back to normal 5 minutes later (well, normal for her, which is pretty much on the verge of tears)
The thing is, the librarian was all set to be kind and sympathetic before I spoke to B. After my ‘fine line’ dilemmas last week I’m worried I wasn’t making enough allowances for how deeply upsetting teenage fallouts can be. She’s a lovely girl in many ways, but seems insecure and desperate to fit in – one of those girls who’s always on the edge of the group. At the same time she kind of needs to learn to deal with people better.
What would you have done?
Have you heard any worse reasons for ‘falling out with’ someone?
I’ve no advice, just two anecdotes, sorry, I always find that a tough one in school.
To my shame, I remember being involved with a group of girls who fell out with a girl because she had an ‘annoying smile.’
How cruel! She still smiles like in the same, wide manner and I feel bad every time I see it.
Also in P6, girls in my class had an “Insult book” where they wrote “Deborah Rea is fat.” I’m still trying to get over it.
By: lilytodd on November 30, 2008
at 1:00 am
How tall is this girl? This seems to me to be of key importance to the whole story, but you have skipped over the fact.
I mean, if you were going to hurt your neck every time you looked up to speak to the girl, then that would probably be a justifiable reason for calling time on the relationship (I accept that that is probably unlikely). If you were pretty small, then even if she was not freakishly tall but over average height, then this may only draw attention to your lack of height and be the cause of dismay. I need more information to provide a carefully thought out response.
(PS Can you tell the credit crunch is affecting the amount of time I have to think about these things between 9am and 5pm?)
By: twobigyellowcranes on December 1, 2008
at 3:48 pm